RANDOM THOUGHTS
2001
Alarm Clock
Another Monday
Awesome Teacher
Back to School
Box of Thoughts
Butter Fingers
Confidence
My Corner Stone
Chick Says "Farewell"
Christmas Rash
Deer Meat
Dog House
Dont Trust A Nigg'a
Don't Use Drugs
Empty Time
Girlfriend, Come Home!!
GOD is DOG Spelled Backwards
God of the Net
Guard Yourself
Hippy Hypocrisy
Hookers wanted
Imaginary Girlfriend
It feels good
It's 2002
JailBabes.com
James Brown In Jail
Kostume with Ketchup
Life After Death?
Lost Keys
love (luv) n.
Midterm Blues
Natedog's World
New Year at UCSC
Pleasure Faire
Popular
Potato Chip Man
Race Against Time
Rank Me
Relationship Confession
Rowdy Republicans
Save the Vegetables
Scare Me
A Shoe Story
Sopranos
Sudafed Trip
SplivaMorphaDoozieDazey!
Spring Break
Stoopid Boy
Stressing Solutions
Ten-Minute Ravioli
Tail Evolution
That Stinks!
Time Flys
We Tookie His Life
Top 10 Candidates
Total Recall
Turkey Day
Turkey Tour
Underware Disappearance
Unpopular
Working the 9 to 5
  The Life of Anna - 02.13.07 :: 5:00am PST

anna nicole in jail

Anna Nicole Smith vs. Elvis Presley. How are these two icons similar you as? Like Elvis, Anna Nicole Smith was a confused person seeking attention. She became famous because he was a sexy super star, (elvis, a brilliant singer), but she became an icon after he went downhill.

Lets not forget that like Elvis' weight gain, Anna Nicole also had a problem around the waist. As it becomes obvious drug over dose in the days following Anna Nicole Smith's death we are reminding the King was found dead nearly 30 years earlier overdosed on prescription drugs.

elvis in jail And finally, in an ironic twist. It seems the same pathologist for elvis was also was involved "probing" the death of Anna Nicole's son.

  We Tookie His Life - 12.13.05 :: 3:26am PST

At 12:35 Tuesday Morning notorious crypts gang member, Tookie Williams, was pronounced dead. After much debate from both sides of the controversial death case, Tookie has been put to rest.

"Finally!," screamed a death penalty proponent "after 25 on death row, it tookie them long enough to put this guy away." While not every side agreed with Governor Arnold, the terminator, decision not to give clemency. Another person outside of San Quentin standing in a life-circle said, "We should not kill people we should heal. We understand it tookie a long time for him to become rehabilitated, we feel he deserved a second chance."

In the summer of 1979 he tookie the lives of 4 innocent people on a murder-and-robbery spree that netted approximately $250. Today the state tookie his life.

  Turkey Day - 11.04.04 :: 5:59am PST

HEY BOYS AND GIRLS!

It's almost that time of year again. Yes that's right. TURKEY DAY!!

How about you celebrate our pilgrimage to this great country by TRACING THE TURKEY. It's simple. All you need to complete this project are 5 coloring crayons: Brown, Light Brown, Red, Orange & Yellow, a printer, and a recent version of Adobe Acrobat installed on your machine.

Click on the turkey to begin:

  Imaginary Girlfriend - 04.01.04 :: 11:50am PST

If you're lonely person or you want to make your buddies think you've got a girlfriend I've found the perfect solution for you, www.imaginarygirlfriends.com You can receive personalized love letters by mail, e-mail, photos, special gifts, even phone messages or online chat from your new Imaginary Girlfriend.

For only $40 bucks every other month you can have your own genuine girlfriend. Take for example Kristen, (18), Lives in San Diego. As a Imaginary Girlfriend Kristen will send a hot and steamy letter every week on her personal stationary, scented with her perfume. In her first letter she will include a pair of her lace panties that her new boyfriend can proudly show his friends. The lucky boyfriend will receive an e-mail every few days from her letting him know about things going on in her life (and expressing her love/lust for him too!) Online chats on AIM can be arranged if needed, and She'll also be willing to leave one or two phone messages for the lucky boyfriend on his answering machine. No phone conversations included.




  James Brown In Jail - 01.28.04 :: 08:09pm PST


Legendary soul singer James Brown, best know for his hit I Feel Good back in the 60's, has once again run afoul of the law after being arrested Wednesday on charges of pushing his wife, 33-year-old Tomi Rae Brown, to the floor where she fell on luggage, Reuters reports. A police report said the incident happened at the couple's home in Beech Island, So. Carolina, and that Mrs. Brown had scratches and bruises on one arm and on her hip and was taken to a hospital for treatment. The 70-year-old singer appeared Thursday in an Aiken County, So. Carolina, court for a bond hearing and was released on personal recognizance, Aiken County Sheriff's Office spokesman Michael Frank confirmed.



Brown, honored last month at the Kennedy Center, has had his troubles with the law in the past, serving three years for a chase with police that led them from South Carolina to Georgia. In 1998 Brown was given a two-year suspended sentence for weapons charges. If convicted on this domestic abuse charge, Brown faces a $500 fine and 30 days in jail.



  JailBabes.com - 12.12.03 :: 5:21pm PST

Just about when I thought I'd seen everything on the NET I came across this site: WWW.JAILBABES.COM. For just 7 dollars anyone can purchase an address to pen pal an incarcerated hottie.

Like most personals Jail Babes includes options for the girls to describe their hair color, age, height, and a short description of what they're looking for in a pen pal. However, these personals also include the release date and any information they are willing to provide about their crime. For example, check out these incarcerated babes:



JAILBABES.COM has been covered in a variety of popular media outlets such as the Howard Stern Show, Jay Leno's Tonight Show, and the Los Angeles Times.




  Turkey Tour - 11.11.03 :: 3:10am PST

I think somewhere along the way I was given some bad information. Because I thought all turkey's (gobble gobble) came from Turkey (that county near Iraq). Since about 6 months ago I've been informed differently and so I've taken upon the task to learn where turkey's come from. After a few minutes I quickly came a cross a few sites of interest. One in particular stuck out, Norbest - "Perfect Turkey's every time."

After taking the Virtual Turkey Tour I soon realized it was a complicated process starting with the first step, The Turkey Breeder. The breader toms, as they call them, can lay up 100 eggs in a 25 weeks. Then onto the Turkey hatchery where the little baby turkey's hatch. Upon hatching they are taken to the tempertature controled Brooders. When the turkey's range from 18-24 pounds or 8.16 to 10.88 kilograms they are ready for processing.

According to Norbest, "Upon arrival at the processing plant the turkeys are plucked and eviscerated. The giblets and neck are diverted for separate cleaning and chilling, and the carcass is quick chilled in refrigerated water which is continuously replenished. ....The neck and giblets are inserted into the body cavities. An ovenable plastic leg clamp is applied." Yum Tum, can't you taste that turkey right now. "The turkeys are bagged in strong plastic bags, then tightly vacuum packed for maximum wholesomeness and protection." After all that is done, your turkey is ready for delivery to your local supermarket.

Happy Thanksgiving




  Scare me - 10.31.03 :: 1:19am PST

They don't scare like they used to.

It's a shame now-a-days, it doesn't seem like much can scare me anymore. It used to be when I was 4 or 5, I would turn off the lights - everything would be dark and I'd be scared out of my wits. Now I can walk through an entire forest alone and come out perfectly fine - not that I really walk through forests alone, but you get the picture.

And what's up with those "scary movie", Scary Movie 3 is a joke, Chainsaw Massacre is just blood and gut, and Disney's Haunted Mansion is a kids movie. Where did all the freaky movies go, like "Birds" or the ones where the ants took over the earth and killed people. Did I just get older? I'm only 23 - I'll be 24 next week. Maybe that's it.... or maybe I'm the scary one?




  Rowdy Republicans - 10.14.03 :: 07:19pm PST

If you made a list of the most idiotic things a human being could possibly do, falling off the back of a golf cart would probably rank near the top. That happens to be the exact thing I did while in the middle of a game of golf celebrating the victory of our new governor with a group of respectable republicans.

Now I know what you might be thinking, "How the heck does someone fall off a golf cart." Well I have a simple answer for you. Two shots of 100 proof peppermint schnapps, 6 Henikins, a Golf Cart, and some rowdy republicans. You solve the equation.

If there was one lesson to be learned from this experience, it's not to mix the four together.




  Top 10 Candidates - 10.07.03 :: 11:00pm PST

It's official. Arnold Schwarzenegger is named Governor by the people of California. With a majority of 54% in favor of recalling Gov. Gray Davis from office Arnold wins with a near majority of California support at 48%.

It's been one wild ride in California for the past two months. Politicians like Jesse Jackson are already planning on recalling Governor Arnold, but in a "gracious phone call from Davis" as Schwarzenegger describes it Davis plans to make it a smooth transition for Arnold into his new office.

Here is a list of the top ten candidates for this election:

1. Schwarzenegger 3 mil. votes 48%
2. Bustamante 2 mil. votes 32%
3. McClintock 931 thousand votes 13%
4. Camejo 198 thousand votes 3%
5. Huffington 93 thousand votes 1%
6. Ueberroth 20 thousand votes
7. Flynt 14 thousand votes
8. Coleman 12 thousand votes
9. Schwartzman 10 thousand votes
10. Cook 9 thousand votes

Complete List of Election Results


  Total Recall - 08.13.03 :: 11:01am PST

It's a TOTAL RECALL. That's right... a whopping majority of the California population has called for a recall on the current Gov. Grey Davis.

If you haven't heard the best part, Arnold Schwarzenegger known by his role in the popular movie Terminator will be leading this brigade of 247 applicants. The LA Times reports that only 115 applicants have been approved and some are likely to be disqualified for various reasons. CLICK HERE for a complete list of the 2003 Gubernatorial Recall Candidates. Here is a list of a few actual canidates:

1. Ned Roscoe - Smokers Party, enough said.
2. Gary Coleman - Diff'rent Stokes actor
3. Leo Gallagher - You know, that guy that smashes stuff!
4. Mary (Mary Carey) Cook - Porn Actress, I like her platform
5. Paul Nave - Boxer for Governor
6. Larry Flynt - Hustler Porn Star Guy
7. Trek Thunder Kelly - This guy's platform would make a sailor blush with shame


  Unpopular - 06.14.03 :: 8:44pm PST

Many times in our lives, at some point or another, we don't feel popular. Well, what if you felt like that all the time? What if everyone knew, including yourself, you were the most unwanted person alive?

Today I include some pictures of some very unpopular people. I must contest, there's no proof or scientific data to back up my claims of unpopularity - but if you met these people, what would you say? Click on the lamer's name below to view the picture:

1. Nerdy Ned
2. Fat-so Freddy
3. Reddy Ralph
4. Billy Bob
5. Big Bike Boy


  Sudafed Trip - 03.01.03 :: 1:09am PST

BEWARE READER: Common side affects of SUDAFED®.

  • Anxiousness
  • Dizziness
  • Dry Mouth
  • Making the mistake that your clutch is your break. Then making a screeching 90 degree right turn at 30 miles/hour.

I never would have thought it, but SUDAFED® can cause some serious head damage. Pop two of those suckers down in the morning and your good for a 6 hour trip. Just be careful around those turns.




  Chick Says "Farewell" - 02.05.03 :: 1:06am PST

By now most people are familiar with the tragic events of February 1st. The space shuttle Columbia on entry over Texas burned up killing Seven NASA astronauts. On February 4th George Bush attended a memorial with family members of the decease crew members and legendary astronauts such as Neil Armstrong.

I would like to provide my deepest sympathy for the families and relatives of this horrific accident. It would be wise to remember the great accomplishments our nation has achieved since our beginning days of space exploration. Because of people like Rick Husband, William McCool, Michael Anderson, David Brown, Kalpana Chawla, Larel Clark, and Iian Ramon many new discoveries have been found that better our every day life.

So this little Chick says farewell to the brave men and women of Space Shuttle Columbia. My heroes in the sky.




  Christmas Rash - 12.15.02 :: 8:13pm PST

Hi, my name is Spencer. Yesterday I tried calling Dr. Nudel's office. He's one of those doctors that works on problems found in the genital area. I found his name out of the yellow pages under DOCTORS. I was kind'a embarrassed to have to call him in the first place.

Ever since I got back from my company christmas this year its been swelling up like a red balloon. To be honest, I don't know how I got the rash. I did participate in a game called the elephant exchange. The object of the game is to exchange gifts between the staff and somehow end up with a better gift then the one you brought.

So I was thinking it could have been the gift I received. Well, anyways... I got to call up Dr. Nudel's office on monday before it gets any worse. C-Ya later.


  Pleasure Faire - 10.1.02 :: 10:54pm PST

Yet another beautiful weekend has passed. They always seem to go faster when I'm less productive. Saturday consisted of an educational trip to Casa de Fruta's Renaissance Pleasure Faire followed by an evening with good friends and good music. My Sunday was quite different, I traveled an hour to complete last-minute work for a friend who moved far far away. That lasted me until 6 o'clock at which time I sat myself down with girlfriend and ate a healthy Avocado & Cucumber sandwich on a rye roll, she had the turkey and avocado. The rest of the evening was spent washing girlfriend's and my car.

Well... you could probably understand by now why this weekend passed by so rapidly. Maybe next weekend I'll run a mile or write an inspirational essay about drugs and AIDS. I'll probably need to study for a test or finish some homework. I might just eat a worm, suck some book, and read a poem. I don't really know what I'll end up doing. Let's just hope my weekend will last longer next time.




  FAT-SO - 10.1.02 :: 10:54pm PST

I can finally admit it. I'm overweight. 165 - that's a little too much. 175 - I should start cutting down on the fast food. 185 - Diet! Diet!! Diet!!! 192 - Can you say "fat-so"?

I'm without a doubt very inactive. It started with the place I worked over the summer. Eight hours a day usually sitting on my rear typing HTML code, designing layouts, and creating presentation posters.

So far I've taken the necessary steps to avoid additional weight gain. Tofu Sandwiches, Plain Toasted Bagels (no butter), Healthy green salads (no ranch), and home-cooked rice




  Sopranos - 09.26.02 :: 5:35pm PST

Have you seen it yet? If you're like me and don't own HBO then you probably want to call up your nearest neighbor with HBO and cancel all engagements for Wednesday's at 9. HBO's The Sopranos is first rate television. Be forewarned, the show may have "adult language" and "some nudity"

The reason why I like this show so much is because it deals with real life issues in a grown up manner. My other favorite show, Startrek, does the same thing except it deals with the real life issues at a 10th grade level. Sopranos is not afraid to deal with the most controversial issues in the world today.

By the way, if you're one to love cliffhangers, Sopranos will always leave you hanging... As a side note, be prepared to save a little extra for your own HBO after you watch your first episode.


  Empty Time - 04.30.02 :: 6:59pm PST

You might notice that I haven't been writing as many Random Thoughts as of late. This is because of the 2 math classes I'm taking this quarter, Discrete Mathematics and Vector Calculus, two very intense math courses. So, it's been hard to take the few minutes to write here every day.

I feel like at this time in my life I've been consumed my being a student. I don't consider it a bad thing, however, it's nice to have some time in my life to actually live. Day to day I work, study, and go to school. Only if there were a few extra hours in a day... 26 hours sounds nice.

There's a good side to this; School will be over for the year before too long, June 6th to be exact. While I am studying hard and working to pay the bills I invite you to tell me how you're doing: fifthnail@hotmail.com. Take Care, and I promise to have more time available in the summer.




  Midterm Blues - 04.22.02 :: 10:45pm PST

Midterm blues. It seems as if last week I started this quarter at UCSC and now this week I've got MIDTERMS! Oh bother. The previous quarter, the school sent out its published Spring Course catalog 4 weeks into the quarter. Geez! It would be nice if I could worry about the classes I'm taking this quarter, instead of deciding which classes I'll have to enroll in next quarter.

It isn't as bad as I make it sound. I've tried the semester system, from experience I can tell you after the first month and a half it feels like school has only begun. It seems as if the semester system was used to put people in school all year. Where as the quarter system can pack 15 units of class into 2 and a half months.

I guess the moral of the story, like most things in life, is just deal with it.


  Guard Yourself - 04.08.02 :: 11:54am PST

Have you ever got something you were so sure you didn't deserve it? I guess that's how I feel about what happened today. Unfortunately because this is on the web, for everyone to see, I can't disclose what exactly I got. However, I will tell you one thing... I didn't win the lottery - nor did I gain any amount of riches. The truth is... I've started back where I was 2 weeks ago. Except this time, I now understand appreciate what I have a lot more.

To be honest, I really felt that I deserved it from the beginning. Then they took it away from me. However, one week later I got it back. I didn't lie, I didn't steal... quite honestly I don't know why I got it back, but I did. And now I know it's worth.

It seems strange that when one has something, one sometimes forgets it's worth. And only when one doesn't have it any more, does it mean that much more to that person. So I ask you, the reader, reflect on what you do have... and how much that means to you. There's always the potential it will get taken away from you. Guard yourself.




  Alarm Clock - 03.29.02 :: 10:39am PST

"Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock." --Pablo Picasso

Is this really true? There are so many variations of the alarm clock. The alarm clock we wake up to in the morning. The alarm clock we can set on our wrist watch. The alarm clock that reminds us when to take the chicken out of the oven. I suppose that the only reason why one would want to use an alarm clock is to alert that person to do or stop doing something,

Pablo is a great guy, don't get me wrong. But to say work is a necessity for man, and man invented the alarm clock are synonymous is false. The fault lies on the definition of what an alarm clock really is. Is it just something that alerts you to wake up in the morning? Or is it a mechanical device that one sets the appropriate time to alert one's self? If the first case is true than we've had alarm clocks as far back as anyone can remember, the ole roster making his sound at the early morning sunrise.

According to: WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University an Alarm Clock is defined as n : wakes sleeper at preset time [syn: alarm] and the definition of Alarm isn't much better. So, Pablo... sorry, ya need something better to prove that one.




  Underware Disappearance - 03.03.02 :: 11:50pm PST

Larry Larkins

It was an evil plot against all mankind. No one expected Larry Larkins, the salesman of office supplies, to be behind such an evil plot. Neither did anybody expect a total disappearance of underwear nation wide. It was the kind of evil act you expect from someone like Hitler, Osoma Bin Laden, or Saddam Husayn.

The morning of February 12th 2002 billions of people awoke to find all their underwear missing. Larry Larkins (age 34) sought the need to steal the world's supply of underpants. Officer MiddleMut confirms he is under government custody.

Government officials speculate he's been working in close connection with the Keebler Elfs, and storing the missing articles of clothing somewhere near Nome, Alaska. While it's not known why Larry Larkins would commit such an act, we now know the terrible fact that our underwear will never be safe again.


  God of the Net - 02.26.02 :: 10:41pm PST

I am god of the internet! Today I discovered the true power of PHP. For those not familiar, PHP is a programming language very similar to CGI and JAVA. I have been fooling around with various PHP scripts for the past month... today I was able to program myself a PHP script that can filter out any HTML webpage on the internet and use the content in any which way I please to use it on a page that I create.

The idea is that a lot of pages on the internet change day to day. For example CNN.com... given the power of PHP, now I can borrow the headlines and text from any page. The beauty is, I don't have to update... and the content will look brand-spanking new everyday.

Fall back: most pages on the internet are copyrighted. Thus, I would need to ask for permission. No sweat! I am still god of the internet




  SplivaMorphaDoozieDazey! - 02.04.02 :: 10:15pm PST

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you'll be saying "Honking Horny Toads" ten times fast.
The SplivaMorphaDoozieDazey!
requires ten minutes of your day twice a week. You'll be saying things like "Shut my mouth and close the door" or "Lick the walls and call me Susan".

The SplivaMorphaDoozieDazey!
only costs one cent for every minute you've lived. You'll be asking for multiple orders. Don't wait!! Reserve your supply of The SplivaMorphaDoozieDazey!. You'll be humming the theme to 'Three's Company' every time you use The SplivaMorphaDoozieDazey!.

ORDER NOW!!!!




  Race Against Time - 1.15.02 :: 8:56pm PST

I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or it was reality... I found myself in a race against my dad and brother. We must have been running along some narrow wooden path over the water. Like those things at the wharf that bring you to your boat. It was foggy and there wasn't much light.

I was at some point in this race against my two male family members... for a while I was doing ok... but suddenly I became weak. My dad was in the lead, brother trailing. They were nearly finished... so naturally I decided to pause time... take a break and catch my breath.

Once I was finished, I un-paused time and sped up past both of them... I finished first.




  Awesome Teacher - 1.09.02 :: 1:47pm PST

I'm just about to go to my next class today. This class I'm taking is a Computer Engineering class, CMPE12C. The teacher that is lecturing this class has to be one of the coolest professors I've had since I've started this major, Computer Science. Yeah, I have to take a class under the engineering department for computer science.

This teacher made a lab manual for this class complete with informational stuff he put together for this class... get this, he calls it the "Happy Assembly Class." He's one of those teachers that really wants everyone to do well in the class... one of the things he'll say while explaining a subject is "You'll understand, you're a smart class".

Compared my my teacher last quarter, Mackey... undoubtly a genius, however this guy had a lot of social problems... my new teacher is awesome. With teachers like this you can learn a lot more from... you feel more comfortable talking with the teacher, asking questions, and those sort of things..

Well... Off to class. Ta Ta.




  It's 2002 - 01.01.02 :: 1:30am PST

Damn, it's 2002... back to work. No more trick or treating... no more turkey... no more chestnuts roasting over an open fire... and no more drunken parties that start at midnight. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy it's a new year and all that stuff. But I'll tell you one thing... it won't be the same not being able to see family and home town friends for a while.

It seems that the people who decided to make these holidays thought it would be cool to put them altogether and then make the students wait for Spring Break and Summer before some more holiday time. Well, I guess it's not all that bad. There's a certain amount of time one can handle with the family every so often. Perhaps every two months a week would be nice... anything more than that would have to be too much.

Best wishes to everyone in the New Year. May all your bottoms be up!




  2001 - 12.31.01 :: 1:30am PST

A Year In Review

2001 wasn't all that bad... Timothy McVeigh was lethally injected (one less terrorist to worry about), Milosevic is now is custody of the U.N. for genocide and crimes against humanity, and Usoma bin Laden's army is getting their ass kicked in Afghanistan. It seems that all the terrorist people are getting what they deserved... a good helping of united justice.

Of course there was what happened on the second Tuesday of September, two airlines crashed into the World Trade Center towers in New York, causing the collapse of three skyscrapers and the death of thousands. Before the morning was over, two more passenger jets crashed -- one into the Pentagon, the other in a field near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

If there's a few lessons 2001 has taught us -- we must remember how special our lives are, we must remain aware what type of impact we have on other people and that we are all human.

It's also important to remember one last thing about 2001... the republicans are back in the White House!! What else could be possibly better than that?




  Lost Keys - 12.23.01 :: 05:45pm PST

My mom's keys are gone. I took the keys off my dad's key chain early yesterday. Everything was okay until I found the keys missing. I was told that the key wanted a new home. Last I heard the key was unhappy with my attention to the key's needs.

So, my mom's key is gone. If you have any information where my mom's key might be I will reward that person with a glue stick and a 1977 silver half dollar. I last saw my key around my bedroom...




  Girlfriend, Come Home!! - 12.21.01 :: 12:29pm PST

It's strange that after two weeks without seeing girlfriend I didn't miss her as much as I miss her today. There is a possibility that because I was in constant communication with her from my cell phone to hers it felt as if she wasn't that far away. However, today she's in Florida ready to embark on a fantastic voyage in the Gulf of Mexico. Now I won't be able to talk with her, email her, or even write to her. All communication is gone. And now she is gone. I miss her so much.

Now I have to wait two weeks until I see her again. The last time I saw her was December 10th... I miss her so much. So this goes out to my love. Come home... Come home!! I love you... X O X O X O.

   -me




  Confidence - 12.08.01 :: 6:44pm PST

Yesterday at approximately 6:45pm PST I received my Comp Sci Data Structures grade via email. I PASSED!! I wasn't very clear to me until after I received my grades I could have done better. CMPS012B had to be one of the hardest classes I've ever taken. I was told the first day of class 50 percent doesn't pass the class...

Turns out I got a C+ in the class, on average I would score a C on the homework and B's on the tests. I found that the programming assignments were almost pointless to complete because it was a lot of wasted time when I knew I wasn't going to fully complete them. However, what I thought was wrong... if I had a little more confidence I would have worked a little more on the test and that would have brought me up. At least to a B!

That is why I believe it is better to fight for something that may not look like a good outcome, because then you'll know your true potential.




  Box of Thoughts - 11.26.01 :: 2:26pm PST

Thinking outside of the box. I was really confused when I first heard this saying because logically it doesn't make any sense to be thinking outside of the box. Because technically when you are thinking outside the box your not thinking about what inside the box to begin with.

And what is this box we are supposed to be thinking out of? And what is it we are thinking of? I could say I am thinking out side the box... but wouldn't that mean I'm just thinking inside another box? How many boxes are there?

Given that a box is square with a finite number of edges doesn't that mean we are limiting our thoughts anyways? I believe that we should be thinking somewhere else... I don't know where else is... but somewhere else.




  Tail Evolution - 11.19.01 :: 1:34pm PST

What you had a tail? What would you do?? - Last night I couldn't go to sleep... I probably spent about 2 hours in bed thinking. One of my thoughts I spent the most time thinking about was, what if everyone had a tail? Do you think we would try chasing it like dogs do... or would we use it for a practical purpose, like an extra arm in tennis... or a jumping device to dunk a basket ball? Would we have to cover it up as if it was a private part ... It would after all be coming out of our butt area.

I was also thinking about what type of seating accommodations would have to go into effect. Let me clear something up... I'm talking about a Kangaroo kind'a tail... something that wouldn't be easy to cover up like a bunny tail. My thought is, we would have to cut out holes in the back of seats so our tail could slip in... making it comfortable to sit. On airplanes, we would have to allow some extra room so that our tail wouldn't be in someone's food.

Think about it, it's very possible that we could eventually evolve with tails... who knows how life would be different.




  Stressing Solutions? - 11.16.01 :: 1:15pm PST

It feels like I'am always stressing about something school related. Could it be that I should be spending more time studying than working on my website, or spending time with girlfriend, or playing MAGIC cards?? I would have to say my social life is in order, I have one for the most part. However, school always seems to be something that I have less attention for. I'm not saying that I'm failing my classes or even barely passing. It seems that the work load that I get from school always seems to be coming at me like a machine gun full of ammo.

Unfortunately I don't have a solution, so I'm taking suggestions (fifthnail@hotmail.com)... maybe I could clone myself so that way I'll have 2 of me to work on the homework... or I could drink so much coffee I wouldn't have to sleep, giving me approximately an extra 8 hours in a day..

For right now I'll keep on doing what I've been doing... stressing... then maybe I'll give up my social life at some point and focus on just school. Whatever.




  Relationship Confession - 11.14.01 :: 8:09pm PST

Forget what I said about not having a girlfriend, the risks, the prefect girls are always taken, and the thing about being happy with "friends that are girls"... READ.

I would like to mention I am in a relationship now... and my view has changed somewhat. However, I would like to make a point that I don't appreciate it when I'm told I need a relationship. I assume most people would agree with that statement.

Now that I'm in a relationship I can't get enough... the hugs, the kisses, etc. The feeling is almost overwhelming... So there you have it. My confession... relationships aren't so bad after all.




  Kostume with Ketchup - 10.31.01 :: 2:44pm PST

Happy Halloween! Incase you haven't decided what you're going to be this Halloween, here's some last minute costume ideas you can put together using a bed sheet, scissors, and a bottle of ketchup.

1. Count Dracula - Black bed sheet, for a cape... Scissors, to pretend like you have to pointy fangs... and a Bottle of Ketchup, to put on your teeth (like you bit into a neck)

2. Scarry Ghost - White bed sheet, to cover yourself... Scissors, to cut out a mouth and eyes... and a Bottle of Ketchup, for your arms (makes you look like you killed someone)

3. A Tomato - Red bed sheet, to cover yourself... Scissors, to cut out a mouth and eyes... and a Bottle of Ketchup, for your when you need to go to the bathroom.




  love (luv) n. - 10.24.01 :: 2:27pm PST

So, you've heard of love at first site? What about love if you've never met the person?? I used to think it was never possible. But lately I started asking myself what I look for in someone. I began to realize that I look for personality first and the physical things always comes second.

Where does this leave me? Then I thought, because I am a firm believer in personality, it's definately a possibility to fall in love with the person's personality. ...and because that is what I primarily look for, the physical part can be subsituted with imagination. ..and I am content.

Choose your definition of LOVE




  A Shoe Story - 10.23.01 :: 6:43pm PST

It was a bright, sunny, cloudless day; and if you closed your eyes you'd think you were in paradise. That was all until J.B. Lick'n came walkin around the corner. J.B. was a short guy, about 4'11". He wore gold jewelry everywhere on his body, even on his teeth.

I knew my day was about to become just as bad as an Alaskan snow storm as soon as he walked up to me. Poking me in the chest, J.B. shouts "You got my money fool?" J.B. was the type of thug you didn't wanna mess with. "Sorry, Mr. Lick'n, I don't have any money!" Even though I didn't owe him any money, I knew at this point I was dead meat anyways.

Before I knew it J.B. dropped me to the ground with a blow to the face and took my shoes... So what do you think I did?

I gave him my socks.




  Deer Meat - 10.22.01 :: 1:34pm PST

Over the past week I've been asked countless times, "How do you kill deer and cook it." Well your questions will be all answered right here.

I learned this trick from a Virginia girl, you drive around with your high beems on, on a old country road. Within 10 to 15 minutes you should find a deer staring helplessly into your headlights. At which point you stop, get outt'a the car, and gun it down.

Note: do not shoot the deer too many times, or else you'll be eating Deer'ola Gun Powder. That brings me to cooking. Your best bet is to skin the deer with a 4x1 inch blade. Remove the insides. Cut the deer meat into tasty several strips, ready for cook.

Oil the pan on the stove. Cook anywhere between HIGH and MED, depending on how you like your deer meat. I like it rare. And finally, ready to serve. Serving 15.




  Hippie Hypocrisy - 10.17.01 :: 05:17pm PST

I read in a article yesterday about a paper note attached to a tree stump. The note read "Save The Trees, trees come from Mother Nature." and below it someone else wrote, "...and paper comes from trees."

The point of today's random thought is to express the hypocrisy among the paraniod-hippie-tree-hugging-enviormental-freaks. What I find disturbing are the people that preach love, peace, and unity while we are DEFENDING ourselves in a war is absolutely absurd.

So here's my thought... eliminate the hippies




  Stooopid Boy - 10.17.01 :: 05:17pm PST

"I'm worse at what I do best" - Kurt Cobain

Last Friday I turned in a programming assignment. I thought I did everything the teacher asked me to do, however, it turns out that I didn't even get it half right ... i scored a 33 out of 60!!! Could it be that I'm just not the computer programmer type? ...and how can I call myself a computer geek when I don't have what it takes? How can I fail so miserably at something I do best?

I believe I've reached the ceiling on what I can do. I've met my match. Perhaps there's hope ... I can always work at McDonald's. It can't be too difficult.




  Butter Fingers - 10.12.01 :: 06:00pm PST

One of these day's I'll learn it's never good to stick your hand in a garbage disposal. I've already lost 4 fingers, three on my right hand and one on my left. Just incase ya' haven't heard... it's not safe! Here's what happened.

The first two fingers were lost right after I installed the darn thing. I was reaching down into the black hole... and like that, two fingers fly out and knock me unconscious. So naturally I took my garbage disposal back to the store for a new one. "I want a refund!!", I shouted.

The sales person understood my troubles and kindly refunded my money. While I was returning the garbage disposal I hadn't notice that the sales person was checking to see if it was still usable. In that same instance I lost my other two fingers while reaching in to get out my mangled ring.

So the moral is, DON'T STICK YOUR HAND IN A GARBAGE DISPOSAL!!!




  Hookers wanted. - 10.10.01 :: 05:23pm PST

I would like to make an amendment to the Volkswagen slogan "On the road of life there are drivers and passengers."

Because on the road of life there are many more things than drivers and passengers. So it should really say "On the road of life there are drivers and passengers and pedestrians and bicyclists and cars and road signs and road blocks and accidents and construction workers and homeless people and hitchhikers and people with no where to go and hookers and road kill and dead people sometimes and discarded McDonalds cups.

So if you'd like to help support the VW slogan change please call (1.800.DRIVEVW) or send a message in support of the slogan change. Thank you!




  Ten-Minute Ravioli - 10.09.01 :: 08:50pm PST

I made some dinner last night. And, no, it wasn't hamburgers or corndogs, again. Brother and I made something called the Ten-Minute Ravioli, Corn with Tomatoes and Cream Sauce, and Garlic Bread. It was so good!

In fact it was so good Brother decided we should re-name the Ten-Minute Ravioli to "RAVIOLI de MALLAMACE." And then we should open our own restaurant. The other reason why we would have to rename it was because it actually took 20 minutes to cook.

I was ready to go back to the store and get my money back for the 10 extra minutes.




  It feels good - 10.05.01 :: 06:00pm PST

I'll make this short. I just finished my programming assignment. Turned in my math homework. And now I get to spend a night in 2 million dollar house in Aptos, over looking the Pacific.

I have'ta say, TODAY HAS BEEN A GOOD DAY.





GO BARRY, YOU CAN DO IT







p.s. Have a good weekend




  Potato Chip Man - 10.04.01 :: 02:55pm PST



Last night I ate a whole bag of Lays Potato Chips and fell asleep on the living room futon. I had stuffed my self so full around three o'clock in the morning I awake with a big terrible stomach ache. So I rise to my feet and stumble towards the bathroom. I'm barely able to see at this point... I flip the switch to the bathroom lights... rub my eyes... and stare at a large potato chip man staring at me.

"Oh no!", I shout, "I'm the potato chip man!!!" I quickly run into my brothers room and awake him to tell him what happened. Frantically I yell "Brother, wake up... something terrible has happened. I'm a potato chip man." Brother rolls over at looks at me and mumbles, "Mmmmm Potato Chip..." Just as he starts to reach for me I run out the door.

I gott'a tell you it's not easy being a potato chip man. No one recognizes who you are, everybody wants a taste of you. I tell you, it's hard work. So today's moral of the story is:

You are what you eat



  Don't Use Drugs - 10.03.01 :: 02:05pm PST

The cold war is over! After 2 weeks I finally decided I'd take some medicine... I drove down to the local Safeway and picked up some NyQuil, cherry flavor. Mmmmm :) I'm one of those guys that doesn't like to take medicine unless I really need to.

So it worked!! I'm back to my self again.

For all those people like me who don't believe in taking medicine until you absolutely need to, more power. It helps strengthen your immune system, and then when you really need to fight of a cold don't be scared to use medicine. That way when you are really in need to be saved, you can always take medicine.

This public service announcement was brought to you by:

The People Against Drugs




  Rank Me - 10.02.01 :: 02:52pm PST

Okay... for the record I'm finally over my I-don't-want-a-girlfriend stage. Sure it's nice to be independent and spontaneously going out on the weekend, however, there's only so much of that I can do before I feel like I'm missing out. Just a little history on my recent dating life...

Last time I was in a real relationship was at least 2 years ago. That's sad!...I know. But in fact that relationship lasted about 2 years, which isn't all that bad. I guess I can be kind'a picky and choosey. I've been on plenty of dates this summer. I've met a lot of very interesting women, but the only problem seems to be (1) they don't match up with my lifestyle and (2) they have a boyfriend, that's always a big problem.

Am I not good enough? ...too short, not smart enough, not funny enough. Rank me, and tell me what you think. Do you have any helpful dating advice?


  Time flys - 09.28.01 :: 02:30pm PST

It's Friday!!... It almost seems as if yesterday was Monday... okay, today's Random Thought goes out to all the college students reading this. And according to my calculations that would be everyone visiting this site since you probably have anything better to do.

It's my thought that to make time go by fast there are a few necessary ingredients: get yourself preoccupied for an extended amount of time, that way hours and hours can go by and not notice what you've done. The best way to do this would be to do something that you enjoy. I'm sure you've heard the saying "Time flys when you're having fun."

And most importantly you want to do something productive while you've preoccupied your time... that way you won't feel guilty about that time. Now, it's also my philosophy you can have fun and work at the same time... so make sure you're doing something you enjoy.

...and that's how you make a week fly by.




  Natedog's World - 09.27.01 :: 01:55pm PST

What if you were the last person living on Earth?? ...I know what I'd do.

First I'd probably wanna teach myself how to fly a plane or sail a ship so I could visit any part of the world... once I've been to all the major countries I'd probably end up changing all the city signs that say "Welcome to..." to "Welcome to Natedog's World" just for the heck of it.

I figured I would get bored with no one around to talk to so I would have to have a pet. Remember? I said 'What if you were the last PERSON on earth'. So I would probably get a monkey or a parrot of some sort... and train it how to make a conversation.

Eventually being the last person on earth would get boring. There's only so much one can do to keep one's self occupied alone. So, for right now I am happy where I am, one of the many people on earth. The End.




  Don't Trust A Nigg'a - 09.26.01 :: 05:36pm PST

Yo, whad'up itz Mista Ghetto-luvin-booty back in da' house fill'n in for my G', Natedog. Yeah, that's right he's the original Natedog wit' one 'g'... ya' heard. A'ight, lemme keep it real.

Las' night I stepped on ova to, my dog, T-Bone's crib. Befo' I know it, the po'lice arrive wit 6 cars and 2 swat teams... So I leap tha fence like a ninja an' trail myself to tha backyard patio, where mah dog, T-Bone, be kickin' back in his bassizinet.

Two minutes late'a we be sittin in the back of the squad card and I find out T-Bone be mess'n wit Meth... So I have one thing to tell ya'll, don't trust a nigg'a.




  Another Monday - 09.25.01 :: 06:30pm

Ho, hum... It's another Monday. I can't believe I scheduled myself for a two classes four hours apart today. This means that I wake up for school at 8:30am and get back to the house at 6:00pm that's nearly 10 hours at school... even the local public schools aren't that harsh. I'm kind'a stuck with it, unless I want a 12 hours at school...

Get this, I ran into my two most favorite people at UCSC today... Lani and Chealsea. After about a year, I see them again... and on the same day, even within the same hour. I'm sure glad with all the lightning storms last night I wasn't the visa to the versa... um, never mind.

All in all, I halft'a say today was a good day.




  That Stinks! - 09.24.01 :: 02:25pm PST

My cell phone is crap! Literally!! ...um well, okay here's the story. Yesterday I accidentally dropped my cell phone into the crapper. Luckily I wasn't taking a number 2 when that happened. However, the acidic fluid that was in the crapper at the time have now rendered my cell phone useless.

I was wearing my windbreaker jacket at the time of the accident which made it really hard to urinate at the time. So it was important that I lift the windbreaker jacket away... and at that instance the cell phone and everything else came out... it was a mess.

So I have helpful advice to anyone who has not experience the shame of loosing a cell phone to the crapper... sit down, it makes things a lot easier.


  GOD is DOG Spelled Backwards - 09.21.01 :: 01:55pm PST

Is there a God? Sure, I believe in God... however I've never met him so how do I really know he even really exists? Easy, I have three points that have led me to believe that God does exist.

1. God is very universal... and there's a good percentage of people in the world that DO believe in him. Like my friend Jade... and Jade is never wrong. :)

2. Just yesterday I ran into some guy downtown Santa Cruz that claimed he met God. And he now knew all the answers... he then asked if I could "spare some change".

3.And finally, GOD is DOG spelled backwards... my furry K-9 mutt, Luka, is the most disgusting beast in this universe, so it is assumed, backwards, GOD must be the most beautiful being in the universe.

Now you may not believe me that I know God exists, or you may not agree with my facts, but I know one thing for sure... you don't got anything better.




  Back to School - 09.20.01 :: 11:52am PST

Ring... Ring... School's back in session. Please open your books to page 42.

This is not just another year of school... I'm back on top at UC Santa Cruz. After a year away I realized how much I miss learning at this campus. Of course there's the occasional hippie that never learned what the meaning of shower meant. All in all, everything is back to normal.

This quarter in particular shouldn't be to stressful, with the exception of COMPUTER SCIENCE 12B. The first day of class a tutorial instructor interrupts the class and starts "I know how so many people failed the class last quarter..." Thinking to my self 'Oh great...' I guess not all is so bad, I have a Calculus class that seems fairly easy to manage and a Theatre Design class that doesn't have a mid-term or a final. Wahoo!!

So, wish me luck for the 01' and 02'... it'll be a interesting year.




  My Corner Stone - 08.20.01 :: 07:37pm PST

Well, the final paycheck is in and the days are counting down, 9 to be exact, til' the end of my internship with Weston Miles Architects Inc., my current employer. It is almost depressing to think I wont be working the 9 to 5 anymore... back to school.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm more excited than a jackrabbit on speed about going back to UCSC. However, the thought of leaving my first real job is kind'a depressing. When I say my first real job... even though it was an internship, I found myself actually doing important office work. I wasn't watering the plants, or entering some mumbo jumbo data into a computer.

I was stressed with deadline, from day one; hired on the spot I started working on the Morgan Hill's infamous Charter School. Utilizing information I had just been taught in college. ...And yes, there have been problems left and right... but I've learned from the mistakes and met my deadlines.

I will never forget the my corner stone in Morgan Hill, my first real job, Weston Miles Architects.




  New Year at UCSC - 08.15.01 :: 05:30pm PST

Alrighty, it's count down til' school starts... September 19th. As I've said many times before, I CAN'T WAIT!! And it gets even better, I HAVE A PLACE!!!! I'll be living off a street near campus. It's excellent, I'm close to campus, I've got great roommates (from what I know of them), and I'm starting a new year at UCSC. Life couldn't be better...

I take that back, the Lotto people said don't know anything about my check for the 7 million. Anyhoo...

Even though I may be mentally ready to get back to school I'm still not equip with the necessary living items for school. I guess I'm making a trip to the furniture barn, that's where you can get cheap chairs... some that cost only 5 bucks. hee-Yuk, Yuk.. That's all folks.




  Working the 9 to 5 - 07.24.01 :: 06:47pm PST

So this is what the real working world is like... for 8 hours a day sitting in front of a computer slacking, and getting paid for it?? Geeez, I love this... Okay, I don't literally do nothing - I work on the company website, draw up buildings in AutoCAD, and once in a while I leave the office to measure dimensions for a site we are working on.

I get paid decent, I get free membership to Gold's Gym, and Yoga classes on Monday. It sure beats some of the other jobs I've had, standing up for 8 hours a day, mean customers, ungrateful co-workers, and crappy pay. What is that? You ask how I reached this level of superiority? What gives me the opportunity to avoid the McJobs of America?? ....It's Education!

If it weren't for the classes I took at UC Santa Cruz, I wouldn't have been blessed with my working possession. So, I embrace corporate America... hallelujah everyone... "Joy to the World..." sing with me, sista's and brotha's!




  SAVE THE VEGETABLES - 07.17.01 :: 02:14pm PST

Save the Vegetables! I have nothing against saving the trees, the whales, the raccoons, etc. But there's a deeper issue at hand. I believe we must focus our attention on this very important subject, the death of poor innocent vegetables.

How often we neglect to take care of Mother Nature's vital lung. Like tree's, we depend on the oxygen the vegetables help produce. It is crucial for us to stop slicing and dicing and to start planting and growing.

So think about the helpless vegetables next time you're hungry... and SAVE THE VEGETABLES!

Brought to by:

The California Beef Council




  Dog House - 07.16.01 :: 05:18pm PST
07.16.01 :: 05:18pm PST

¿Whadd'up Peoplz? This is Mista Ghetto-luvin-booty up in da' hooooouuuse. I gott'a give my shout outs to my hommies, to the ones on the EAST side, and to the ones on the WEST side too.

I jus' wanna say to all the players out there, I got ya' back, G. If you wanna throw down some phat G's then lemme know I've got ya' back. yeah!!

So page me up at 123-YO-MOMMA, she'll be waiting




  Life After Death? - 07.11.01 :: 05:20pm PST
07.11.01 :: 05:20pm PST

I think Im dead... wait, wait, before you ask yourself "How could you be writing this?" Lemme explain.

Ok, I was driving home from a friend's house last night. I was driving pretty fast, I'd say around middle to upper 90s. So, I was cruzing along when see the white flash... everything gone for a second. I a car must'a hit me and killed me.

No, I wasn't on drugs. No, I wasn't tired. So how could'a this happened? Well my theory is, there IS life after death... but it doesn't happen the way most people think it happens.

You kind'a keep living your life even though you're dead. Kind'a like that movie the "6th Sense". So, in conclusion, IM DEAD.




  Popular - 07.10.01 :: 05:20pm PST
07.10.01 :: 05:20pm PST

O Yes! So this site has finally become popular... well, someone else visited it besides me. Here's what happened.

Over the weekend I get this email from this guy in Aptos, he said his friend referred him to this site!!!, to read my!!! article. I wrote about last weeks renting blues, in short I was turned down because the landlord rather rent to 2 freshmen girls then 2 messy college guys (we're really not that messy).

So I get this email and this guy sends me an application. So I'm still looking for an apartment to rent from... maybe I'll take up his offer.

Do you have any suggestions?





It all dated back to when the greek philosophers of ancient time ate, drank and were merry. Plato and a bunch of guys got together and created a university (I think it was called, Plato's University).

As the years passed, decades passed, and centuries passed, the human civilization began to celebrate more and more holidays to get out of having to study & take tests on certain days. This eventually lead to making up various days to take off and slack off, thus Spring Break was created (note also: Summer Vacation, Winter Break, Thanksgiving, Vetern's Day, Martin Luther King's B-Day, Labor Day, Valintine's Day, Football Sunday and the infamous Flag Day).

But then came a day when the faculty of the school systems wised up. They realized that test scores were dropping lower and lower every year. So they had to stop the students from getting together on these meaningless holidays of sex, booze and drugs. So to start eliminating the holidays they would do something like the Roman people of Italy would do, DIVIDE AND CONQURE. First change every school's Spring Break week from the same week. Then when the students got bored on break because none of there friends shared the same time for Spring Break, they would eventually eliminate Spring Break altogether.